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Chopsuey: Political Tidbits

15 Mar

Papa Fiiiiiiii ! Ay, Francis Pala

Few days before conclave began, a reporter asked Mario Jose Bergoglio what makes his son, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, qualify to be the next pope. Without a thought, Mario Jose quickly said, “well, he is my son.”

Nancy: DA WHO?

Apparently, Nancy Binay was not the only one who was dragged into politics after serving as executive assistant of her father. During the time of GMA, Jobo Magsaysay, son of senatorial candidate Mitos Magsaysay was also appointed as director of the SBMA at age 23 without any prior experience aside from being the personal assistant of his own mother.

Marwil Llasos: Handsome

Marwil Llasos said he has “same sex affection” but denies having consummated a male to male intercourse because he has vows of celibacy and purity. To which the pigs at the pigpen said, ikaw na ang endorser ng PURINA. (hashtag waley).

Marwil Llasos never had sex with men even if he so desires them. He vowed for celibacy and purity. And a gay viewer of the show said “O siya, hiyang hiya naman kami sa iyong pagkabanal, pagkadalisay, pagkamayumi. But I’m sure, if you were never in a threesome nor a twosome, then definitely you at least did a HANDSOME.” (Ang di makagets pupulutin sa row 10).

Mitos: Feisty?

Mitos Magsaysay says “kung gusto niyo ng senador na walang takot bumangga kahit sino, iboto nyo ako.” Miriam Defensor Santiago, known to be feisty senator herself said, “YOU DONT DO THAT TO ME. I’m still here as the most feisty lady senator. Anong sinabi ng hayahay mo sa mga pick-up lines ko?”

Migs vs Koko Anew

Migz Zubiri and Koko Pimentel quarrel has taken another level, below the belt level. Tired of being accused to have cheated and stole 4 years 2 months of Koko’s senatorial tenure, Migz revealed the alleged reason why Koko and beauty queen wife separated. Koko asked Migz to stop his allegations as this is unfounded rumor. Migz insisted that Koko’s wife was crying while confessing to Migz and his wife. Koko said that if Migz do not stop with this allegation, he might be forced to file libel case against Migz. And then someone said to Koko’s wife ” beauty queen ka tapos papayag kang ang bubugbog lang sa yo ay chaka?”

Oppa Gurang Style 

Erap and Maceda had been dancing Gangnam style during their sorties. Palace advised them to leave dancing ang skit to the circus.

Mitos’ Harlem Shake, Desperado?

Mitos Magsaysay gamely joined Alma Concepcion to dance Harlem Shake during one of the UNA’s sorties. Suddenly, my Westlife CD played “desperado, why don’t you come to your senses…”

SWS Survey: UNAs Bitterness

Toby Tiangco was highly critical of the latest SWS survey where 8 of 12 slots belonged to Team PNoy, with Bam Aquino as the biggest gainer. And the UNA candidates dropping off. He wanted the SWS to reveal who funded the survey.

Pag UNA ang leading, it’s the people’s will. Pag UNA ang talo, the survey is questionable. Asus!

Zubiri: Fake Senator, Fake Followers?

A website fakers.statuspeople.com revealed that among the senatorial candidates, Migz Zubiri has the most number of fake twitter followers with 86% of them fake, and twitteraudit.com revealed that he only has 2% real followers. Anobayan, peke na ngang senador, pati twitter followers, peke? Ano pa ba ang peke sa kanya. (Then “konsensiya” suddenly shouted “kasarian?”)

Dick and Anus (Ayyyyy!)

Dick Gordon’s TVC banners a child who was born with impeforate anus. Was it aimed to be dramatic to draw sympathy from watchers? In his TVC, a child poetically narrates “pinanganak akong may sakit, walang butas aking puwet. Sa kanya kami lumapit…” To which the imperforate anus said “hiyang hiya naman ako sa yo, Dick. Ikaw pa talaga dahilan na nagkabutas at lumuwag ako.”

Dirty Harry vs Dirty Finger

Mayor Lim and Joseph Estrada, before the elections have signed a peace pact for a peaceful campaign and elections. But few days ago, during their face off, Lim and Estrada had been throwing muds against each other.

After one of their face off, while Estrada was leaving the venue, a young voter, supporter of “Dirty Harry” was flashing the “L” sign. Estrada thought the L meant “Libog,” so in return, he flashed a “dirty finger.” Unfortunately that was caught on camera.

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Follow me on twitter: @simply_clinton

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Posted by on March 15, 2013 in Personal, Politics

 

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